You’ve thought about it from every possible angle. Asked people what they would do. Made a decision in the shower and changed your mind by breakfast. Now you’re exhausted, and you still haven’t done anything.
I know that place. I can get very attached to how I think something should go. And when I want an answer, I would prefer it immediately, with a little confirmation that everything will work out.
But making decisions doesn’t come with that guarantee. Sometimes we have to slow down, get honest with ourselves, and take a step without knowing exactly where it will lead.
When I’m stuck, I start with a pause. Before the lists, the conversations, and the mental gymnastics, I make room for a higher power. I ask for guidance and a willingness to see beyond what I’ve already decided needs to happen. Maybe there is a bigger picture. Maybe the thing I’m pushing for isn’t the only way forward.
That pause helps me notice what’s driving me. Am I choosing from my values, or am I trying to make an uncomfortable feeling go away? Am I afraid of making the wrong choice, disappointing someone, or losing control? Those questions matter because fear can come up with some very convincing reasons to stay exactly where we are.
Then I write down the pros and cons. On paper. There is something helpful about seeing the decision in front of you instead of carrying it around all day. What could this choice offer me? What could it cost? How might it affect my health, relationships, finances, time, and responsibilities?
I also look at the pros and cons of doing nothing. We get so focused on what could happen if we change that we forget to ask what happens if we don’t. Staying put has consequences, too.
And I don’t just count which column has more points. A shorter commute and a better parking spot might be nice, but they may not outweigh work that leaves you depleted every night. What matters is the weight of each point and how it fits the life you want to live.
If I’m still going in circles, I work through OOCEMR: Outcomes, Options, Consequences, Evaluate, Mitigate, Resolve. It gives me specific questions to answer when “What should I do?” has gotten me absolutely nowhere.
Outcomes. What do I actually want this decision to help me create? More stability? More connection? More freedom? We can spend so much time comparing choices that we forget to name what we’re looking for. If I don’t know what matters most, every option starts looking equally confusing.
Options. What choices do I have? I try to come up with at least three because my first instinct might be to make it all or nothing. Stay or leave. Say yes or say no. Sometimes there is room to negotiate, ask for support, start smaller, or get more information before committing. “What else might be possible?” is a question I come back to often.
Consequences. Play the tape through. What might each choice create now, six months from now, or a year from now? Something can feel good for a minute and leave us with a bigger problem later. Something uncomfortable today might be exactly what supports us long term. I want to consider both without treating every worst-case scenario like it’s a fact.
Evaluate. Which option fits my values, my responsibilities, and what I need in this season? I might value adventure and stability, but one may need more attention right now. There will probably be a trade-off. The question is whether it’s one I’m willing to make.
Mitigate. What can I do to reduce the risk? If money is the concern, what financial preparation would help? If I’m missing information, who can answer my questions? If I’m worried about a conversation, what do I need to prepare? Naming the concern gives me something to work with.
Resolve. What am I going to do, and when? “I need to figure this out” can follow me around for months. “By Friday, I’m going to make the call and ask these three questions” gives me a next step. Sometimes the decision is to gather more information. That still needs action and a deadline.
The part I keep practicing is following through without demanding certainty first. I can pause, ask my higher power for guidance, weigh the pros and cons, and make a thoughtful decision. I can also feel nervous while I do it.
I don’t have to force every detail into place before I move. I have to be willing to do my part, pay attention, and respond to what comes next.
If you’re struggling with decision making, start with the choice that’s been taking up the most space in your head. Get quiet. Put it on paper. Work through the questions. Then decide what you can do next.
And if you need support sorting through the fear, expectations, and overthinking, that’s work we can do together. As a life coach in Orlando, I help clients get clear on what matters to them and practice making decisions they can stand behind. You can schedule a free discovery call with Dina Brady Coaching to get started.
