Confidence Is Built Through Action: My 20-Year Journey from Lost to Found

Twenty years ago, I was at rock bottom. A dropout, a runaway, a drug addict. Motherless, directionless, completely lost. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted, ashamed, and broken beyond repair. I was a person who had burned bridges, abandoned myself, and numbed out every ounce of pain I could.

But my story wasn’t over yet.

I didn’t wake up one day suddenly confident. I didn’t have some grand epiphany that changed everything overnight. No, confidence came the hard way, the long way, through action, consistency, and surrender.

For two decades now, I’ve had a mentor. Someone to guide me when my thinking turns in on itself, when my perspective skews toward self-destruction. I’ve learned to check my motives, to stay curious about the why behind my actions, to challenge my old patterns.

I’ve asked my higher power for their will, not my own self-centered will. The difference between the two has been the difference between chaos and peace. My own will led me to suffering, addiction, and destruction. Surrendering to something greater led me to purpose, alignment, and healing.

I’ve leaned into gratitude, especially when I didn’t feel like it. I’ve served others, not to fix them, but to get out of my own head and realize that my suffering was never unique. I’ve taken the long road over the quick fix, knowing that true transformation isn’t found in short bursts of motivation but in the slow burn of discipline and integrity.

And through all of this, confidence was built.

Not overnight. Not perfectly. But steadily, brick by brick.

I went from someone who couldn’t make eye contact with my own reflection to someone who now speaks on stages. I don’t do this because I’m not scared, I do this because I’ve built enough self-trust to know that I can handle whatever comes my way.

I’m not a machine. I’m not some perfect, untouchable being. I’m human. I still have to accept and surrender daily. I still have to check myself when my old thinking creeps in. But I’ve done this long enough that I no longer need to take up so much space worrying about myself.

And that’s where the real confidence lies.

Because when you stop being so preoccupied with yourself—when you stop doubting, second-guessing, and overanalyzing, you create space to show up for life. To give, to serve, to love. To be present, wholehearted, and free.

Confidence isn’t about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about being so secure in yourself that you don’t need to be. It’s about moving through life without the weight of self-doubt pressing down on you. It’s about transmuting that energy into something greater, helping others, lifting people up, and showing them that they, too, can step into a life they once thought was impossible.

I am no longer the problem. And because of that, I can be part of the solution.

Confidence gave me that. And confidence was built, step by step, through action.